Welp! It's been a while, but an old friend came to pay me a visit. The dreadful ANXIETY.
Yep, that's here. Hey Girl Heyyyyy! You see, I have dealt with anxiety since I was a teenager, likely even before then, but I just hadn't been diagnosed. I grew up in a household that believed that God was in charge of giving us Peace, so if I desired peace and the relief of anxiety, then I must "give it to God". Unfortunately, this did not work for me for many years. Maybe I didn't do it right?? But over time, Anxiety turned into Depression, and my desire to control everything for a peace of mind became my kryptonite. Because, I mean, can we truly ever be in control of everything ?? Absolutely not. So, over the past few years, after experiencing COVID and all the after effects such as PTSD, as well as postpartum depression, I found peace in Meditation. This was the one thing that I could do that brought me peace, that centered me. I began to connect with Mother earth, by implementing crystals in my life, and placing my feet in the grass often. This grounded me. I like to say, these lifestyle changes saved my life. Because they did. It became what sustained me. So, fast forward to now...
What troubled me mostly about this visit from Anxiety was that I am literally on vacation, l am in paradise and she still found me. After all this time, she caught up with me. First, I was frustrated with myself. I was disappointed in ME, because 'how could you allow her back in??' Haven't you made progress? How does she still know how to find you? But then I thought wait a minute, she is here because she is a part of me. This was my "aha!" moment. I began to think, What am I being taught right now? What is the universe reminding me of through her presence? Then I realized, I have been giving a LOT of myself to everyone around me. To my children, to my husband, to my clients, but I wasn't taking the time to restore myself. You see, typically when anxiety comes to visit, it's not an empty experience. She comes bearing gifts. She comes to remind you of self-care. She comes to remind you of rest or restoration. She comes to keep us balanced.
I could easily view her as my arch enemy, but I refuse to give her that power. I will always view her as a part of me. Because even the parts of me that are uncomfortable, and that I would rather not experience, are still a portion of ME, of my existence. And every portion of me deserves to be acknowledged.
Every portion of me is tied to what makes me who I am. She is what makes me resilient. If there was no her (anxiety, or whatever you may struggle with) then would we really enjoy peaceful moments. Would we really have an appreciation for comfort and joy. What portions of you are you trying to ignore? Who is knocking at your door, and won't go away? That knock will become more and more annoying, and cause more of a disturbance the longer she stands out there. So, open the door and see what she's brought you.
Instead of ignoring her presence, I decided to have tea. I acknowledged that she was at the door knocking, and I invited her in. We exchanged conversation over a nice calming tea, and I allowed her to leave. This is your key to managing anxiety, worry, depression, anger, rage. Acknowledge that it's there. Acknowledge your triggers. See what you are being reminded of, and take the lesson. Work it for your behalf. You are worthy or peace, and all things work together to serve you. So, when you experience the anxiety, the discomfort, remember that even she can bring you Wellness.
If you struggle with implementing this concept, allow me to support you by booking your 1:1 Counseling session here.
As always, I am sending you love and light as you move forward in your journey!